the Italian blog

I travelled to Milan on Monday on a business trip, which sounds glamourous, though it really is not, I’m afraid. The company I visited put on quite a big show, which culminated in a gala dinner in the evening.

Intrigued and excited, I contemplated just what would be on the table. “They’re Italian,” I thought, “so the food will be amazing.” Turns out, I was wrong – but there was much enjoyment to be had from the menu itself.

First in Italian, and then (I presume) hastily translated into English, the menu proudly displayed what was to be on offer. I could be forgiven from feeling sick to my stomach:

Starter 1:

(in Italian)
Moscardini affogati con polenta

(the menu’s English translation)
Dormice drowned in polenta

(in reality)
What? Dormice are rats! And drowned? Ugh.

It turned out to be octopus, which was unfortunately jarred, on a bed of polenta, covered (not drowned) in tomato sauce. I’m unsure how octopus=dormice, but I was relieved not to have a rodent on my plate.

Score: 3 out of 10

Starter 2:

(in Italian)
Terrina di melanzane con mousse di caprino

(the English translation)
Tureen of eggplants with mousse of goat

(in reality)
A terrine of aubergine, with lovely pesto sauce drizzed over, served with a goat (cheese) mousse.

This was the best dish of the night, and I should have stopped here. Very tasty, with several layers of flavour.

Score: 7 out of 10

The third course:

(in Italian)
Risotto alla Milanese con funghi

(the English translation)
Risotto to the Milanese with mushrooms

(in reality)
Mushroom risotto

This should have been a good, staple Italian dish. Unfortunately, the rice was undercooked (a risotto crime in my opinion), and the mushrooms weren’t incorporated into the dish, but rather lumped on top. One guest noted that the dish looked like scrambled eggs.

Score: 3 out of 10

The main course:

(in Italian)
Costoletta di vitelle alle spezie con grani di senape

(the English translation)
Cutlet of calf to the spices with wheats of mustard

(in reality)
Veal with cheesy vegetables and ‘grains’ of mustard

I’m not a fan of veal, and I had been put off by the previous dishes, though the other guests enjoyed the meat. The vegetables were draped in cheese, which wasn’t necessary, and smelled processed.

Score: 5 out of 10

The desserts:

(in Italian)
Torta aziendale, Piccola pasticceria e caffe

(the English translation)
Marcegaglia cake, Twisted pastries, Coffee

(in reality)
These two desserts were more for show than to serve as a proper course – there was a large, 10 ft cake presented to the company, which was a sponge cake with fruit and icing, which was pleasant.

The pastries were small, bite-sized and assorted. I stuck with the coffee.

Score: 5 out of 10

I learned a valuable lesson that night. Just because Italian chefs are some of the best in the world, and British and American cuisine both owe Italian food a great debt, I cannot expect a perfect meal anywhere in the country.

It also reminded me how Italians cook best: simple ingredients, cooked well. Unfortunately, these rules weren’t followed that night, but they probably are in most houses throughout the country.

The highlight of the night was a wonderful, rich local red wine called Cantalupa Faber. Extremely satisfying, the wine was an absolute pleasure to drink, especially knowing I was sitting in the midst of the region it was produced.